Daid: Hello, Jay.
Jay: Hi, David.
David: How are you today?
Jay: Very good, thank you. How are you doing?
David: I'm fantastic also, and I am glad to speak about how we can have an impact in this world. But before we do that, I would like to let you to introduce yourself.
Jay: Well, my name is Jay Allen, and obviously, I'm an author of a book called “Humans in Training: Everything We Need, We Already Have,” and another book called “Humans in Healing,” which is about the evolution of the soul and the evolution of consciousness, and sort of as a guide to who we are and why we're here, and which to me is important to understand.
David: You said something very important. Why we are here, who we are. A lot of people are struggling to find who they are. So how can we find who we are?
Jay: Well, you know, life is getting our attention. You notice in life, how lessons, they keep coming back, right? Life is always trying to get our attention, and to get us moving in a certain direction. And we learn…a lot of people teach us about goals, how to set goals and achieve their goals, but what I discovered is that sometimes our goals are not in alignment with what our life wants us to be.
David: Yeah. I want to throw away, but in fact it's not me.
Jay: Exactly. And so I was given 15 months to live when I was 18.
Jay: And life got my attention. And all of a sudden I started to explore, as a student of life, I wanted to know what's the point? Why am I here? Does life seem to know what it's doing? It's getting my attention. Do you ever notice how lessons keep coming back? So why is that? Why is life…what is life trying to teach me? What is life preparing me for? And so that became very important to me, and I decided to redefine success. What is success? Is it how much money I make? Is it how much material things I have? Is it how much power I have? Or is it how happy I am? What is life all about? What's the purpose of it?
David: So what is it for you?
Jay: Well, for me, it's the evolution of the soul, that life is a perfect spiritual system, that life is our spiritual training ground. This is where our souls…we learn the lessons, we understand our divine nature. We understand the essence of life is love, and that is our true essence, and the nature of love is to give, and it is to serve to others. You notice how you, when you give to others unconditionally, it feels good? That's because it's triggering our soul nature. And these lessons that keep coming back, this is our training ground here on earth to prepare our souls to create heaven on earth, which is to raise the consciousness so that we're all aware of the divinity between all of us. And so I found out that life is a perfect spiritual system. It knows exactly what it's doing, and it knows exactly what we're supposed to be doing, and it's constantly getting our attention to get us on the right track. And so, it's up to us to pay attention. And if we don't, life has a great sense of humor, and it keeps sending the same people, the same lessons over and over until we finally get the lesson. And so…
David: So you are saying that we have to pay attention of everything we have in our life and find lessons from that?
Jay: Absolutely, because that's…consciousness is our awareness, and so that's to be aware of the lessons that life is trying to teach us. And so when we become aware of the lessons, then we can participate in the game. Now, I was an athlete. I was a hockey player, and I, you know, if I didn't understand the purpose of the game, it would be hard to play the game, right? And how many people do you know who go through life, they work hard, they set goals, they achieve goals, then they set new goals? So my question was, well, when is it enough? Then what? So you achieve your goals, then what? So you have the relationship of your dreams, then what? So then you have everything that you want, then what? Do you notice that life keeps going? So why are we here? There's a bigger purpose to life, and there's a lot more than just the way that it appears. So for me, when you're given 15 months to live, you don't need theory, and you don't need philosophy, you need answers. And the answers I was looking for, I couldn't find in university. I noticed that when I studied all the spiritual masters, or Jesus, or Buddha, or Krishna, or Mohammad, that there was this underlying truth, an underlying principle that…
David: What was the common factor, the common messages between them?
Jay: The common message is the fact that we are loved. That is our natural tendency, and that, our essence of who we are, and that life is training us, is preparing us to break through a veil, a separation, so that we can experience heaven on earth, that God or heaven, whatever you wanna call it, it's an experience, and that we can experience it at any time if we're willing to do the inner work. I always say, you know, everyone wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die, right? They'd rather be right than to look inside. And so I found out that when I was, you know, when I was looking for answers, similar to yourself, by traveling around, you know, reading lots of books. I jumped out of planes. I walked on fire. I did knife fighting, bungee jumping, anything stupid, I tried it and did it, and guess what? It didn't change anything. Didn't change a damn thing. I still had the same diagnosis, and nothing had changed. So I finally decided to turn my attention inward, and I discovered, like, just like I can retrain my body physically, I can retrain my mind, I can retrain my heart, but I can also more importantly begin to understand and express from a soul. And as if you came to work from the deepest level, everything else fell into place. And even…it's been 20 years since I was given 15 months to live, and the doctor is telling me, “Keep doing whatever you're doing.” But you know what's interesting? The doctors never ask me, “So what are you doing?”
David: So what you're doing?
Jay: Well, it's the getting to the cause. I knew even then that life was getting me on track. Even things that we happen, like, say you're diagnosed with a mid-brain tumor, you're given 15 months to live. I knew on some level that life was getting my attention to get my life on purpose. You know that you're here on a mission, right? You feel it in your heart, and you feel it onto your soul. You feel it, something bigger than yourself. And I knew that life…I was not here to stop hockey pucks, I was here for a bigger purpose. And life was not trying to do something negative, it was actually helping me to get my life on purpose. And then I needed answers, so all of a sudden asking questions, meeting people, finding answers, reading books, studying all the different religions to find the core common denominators that I could apply in my own life to heal myself so that I can help other people to know, as we heal ourselves, we heal the world, right? It's not by changing other people, it's by finding peace within ourselves.
David: Be the change you want to see in the world.
Jay: Exactly. And do it with awareness, that, not to…you know, we see a lot of people, they try to fix others, or they try to help others to help themself. But we find that when you do it unconditionally, just like unconditional love, when you give it with the right awareness, it comes back tenfold, but when you give to get, it doesn't come back at all. It's the perfect spiritual system that life has, that we live in, that we can't…you ever notice how you can't fool life, right? You can try to get away with stuff, you can try to fool life, but it just has a great sense of humor and sends the same lessons over and over. So I discovered that, too, in life, that it's just a perfect spiritual system, that it's helping us to evolve to pure love, so that all we can do is see God everywhere, treat everyone with love and kindness regardless of how they treat us. Even if they don't, we don't have to have everything in common, but we see that we all have the same essence in common, and regardless of our race, or our religion, or nationality. And how beautiful is that, that we're all one family?
David: That's great. And how do you develop unconditional love when someone have a behavior you don't like?
Jay: Well, that's the part of…I think they call it maturity, right? There's a lot of times when people take things very personally. Like, you know a lot of people who are very predictable in their behavior, right? So if I push this button, I get this response, and I push that button, I get that response. We come into a place of maturity and a place of comfort with ourselves, and acceptance with ourselves, that we can accept other people. And when we understand that life is always serving our highest good, then we're always there in every conversation, in every interaction, we're always there to serve the highest good of the person that we're with. So if they're upset, instead of taking it personally and getting upset, we send them love, and we ask spirit to serve their highest good. So maybe they just need to talk. Maybe they're going through something in their life, and we can be of service to them. So if we're in our heart, we can know what to do. If we're in our head, we'll get mad, and get upset, take it personally, and end up in an argument. And so we find out that we have all the power if we know how to use it correctly. And that's why I try to teach people how to get out of this thing and into here. And we have a…
David: So let's talk about that. How you….
Jay: Sure. Well, again, most people understand the whole journey of life is to get…to break through that veil, as we talk about, of the ego, to get into the higher self, this place where of unconditional love that we're giving. And so from the head is where we begin, where we're thinking all the time. It's a place of separation. And so to get into connection, the bridge into the higher self is through the heart, which is to give love. When you're in your mind, you're in a place of trying to get from life. Do you know people who are trying to get the most out of life? They're trying to set goals and tell life what they want, and they're trying to visualize those goals, they're trying to affirm those goals? But what if those goals are not for their highest good? What is the point of achieving those goals? Then what? And then you make more money? Then what? Then more money? Then what? Then another relationship? Then what? A new car? Is that gonna make you happy?
David: So you don't set goals.
Jay: Well, I believe that it's okay to set goals when they're in alignment with our higher purpose, when they're in alignment with why we're here. So that is to pay attention to that. But I notice that…
David: And how do I…how do I know that my goals are in the alignment of my purpose?
Jay: Well, that's where being…paying…able to pay attention to the feedback, and also being connected with our heart. From the heart, we'll…we know from our connection to spirit what is right and what isn't right. And we're also paying attention to the feedback. Because our heart is our best guide of all. That's our best GPS system. A lot of people, they try to work from the mind, right? And they try to control the subconscious mind, and they try to control the conscious mind, and they're trying to meditate to quiet the mind. But it's not until we get out of the mind completely and we begin to operate from the heart that life gets easy. I try to teach people that life is not meant to be a struggle, that you're the problem and you're the solution. That the only time your life is a struggle is when you fight life. Do you know people who resist life, and they've got goals, and they're trying to fight to make those goals happen, and life is very difficult, and sometimes they're not even very happy? I meet people all the time here, especially in Southern California, they have a lot of money, they have everything most people could ever want, and yet they're miserable, because there's no connection. There's no connection to a higher source, there's no connection with themselves. And their whole life has been focused on trying to take, and it's only through giving, and giving our love, and giving that we feel the spirit can work through us. And if spirit works through us, then we get to receive even more. And so life is…you know, do you know people that have issues?
David: Yes. Me too, I have.
Jay: Exactly. We all do. Isn't that great? We all have that in common, regardless of our race, our religion, we all have issues. And life keeps giving us opportunities to heal those issues. So for all of us, if we participate in that process and help each other, if we understand that life is supporting our spiritual growth, and then we can support each other's spiritual growth, think how much quicker we can grow to just be love, right? Rather than me trying to change you and you trying to change me, and I'm trying to get from you, and you're trying to get from me, and then you let me down, I let you down, and then we don't talk anymore, right? We see that so often in life, because it's out of synchronicity with how life works. And I was frustrated when, you know, I was given 15 months to live. I was at McGill University in Montreal, which is one of the best universities in the world. They don't teach any of this stuff. So my thing was, “Well, where am I supposed to find it?” And I read hundreds of books, and I didn't find the answers there, either, because they were so focused on goal setting, so focused on material things, that it…I needed answers to get to, “What is the one thing that if I heal this, if I fix this, everything's going to fall into place?” Because I had that urgency. “I need to know now.” And so that, to me, is why I wrote my book “Humans in Training.” And it's about how we're all in training and in healing to evolve to this higher consciousness. You can call it the Christ consciousness. You can call it God consciousness. You can call it the higher self. It doesn't matter. It doesn't care what you call it. Just like the law of gravity, it doesn't stop working if you call it a different name, and it was working long before Newton. And if we live in alignment with the law of gravity, life is easy. If we resist it, if we fight it, if we try to make the law of gravity into something it's not, how does it work for you? The law of gravity wins every time. So my whole education, my whole training became, what is the law of life? To understand, to refine the nature of humanity until we're a perfect expression of love itself. And so life is trying to help us and support our growth, and we can participate as a conscious co-creator. And then all of a sudden we just find out that life knows what we need. How many people do you know who are setting goals and trying to tell life what they want? I ask people all the time, “Do you think God doesn't know what you want? Do you think God doesn't know…” do you remember Jesus saying, “God, I want this. God, do this for me. God, I want a new horse. God, I want a new robe.” He didn't do any of that, did he? He was there to serve humanity. He was there…he always gave thanks, knowing that it was already done, because there was no separation. It was all connection to that one spirit. And that's what we're all here to experience, regardless of our race, our religion, or anything else. And we have that opportunity every moment if we're paying attention. And that's really just what consciousness is, if that makes any sense.
David: Yes, it makes sense. You are saying that we have to be connected to our hearts and not to our mind. And the people are…who are listening to us now, maybe they understand that with their mind. “Okay, I understand I have to be more connected with my heart.” But in the moment when you are upset about someone, how do you do to be connected to your heart when you are connected to your mind?
David: In the moment.
Jay: …there's…there's a great expression, and I try to share it with people that if you want to be enlightened, you have to lighten up. So stop taking everything so seriously, and stop taking things personally. Usually people get upset, but we allow someone to upset us if we take it personally, if we think they're out to hurt us or out to get us.
David: So what do you say to yourself to shift that?
Jay: Well, for me, there's nothing that I say to myself. It's an awareness that I'm who I am. I'm comfortable with who I am. I love who I am. I see that person in their highest good. And so if they're upset, if they say something to me that isn't nice, or, I can choose to either react and get mad and take it personally, or I can react to try to serve their highest good. And so I can send them love, and ask them, and I'll just know, I'll just ask the spirit to use me to help that person heal and to grow. And all of a sudden, it's amazing how you can change a situation around, because if someone can feel your love, just like an animal can feel fear and an animal can feel love, so can a human being, right? Obviously we can rise above the animal, and we can see, “Oh, this person has my highest good.” If you hang around with children, when you call kids on their BS, you know, when kids try to get away with stuff, and instead of getting upset or letting them have whatever they want, if you call them on it, they love it, right? It means they care. And when someone's upset, we don't have to take it personally. We can just say, “Oh, they're going through something. How can I support them?” Because life is supporting all of us on our spiritual journey, so when I support you on your spiritual journey, I'm in alignment, I'm in harmony with life, and life can use me. It's a win-win for both of us. And so to me, that's just consciousness. That's just awareness of why I'm here so I can handle those situations differently. And the same situation that might have made me upset a few years ago now makes me laugh, because now I see the humor in life, and I see the humor in the situation, and now I can just use that situation. And that's why we have family. Family's a great way to practice unconditional love. It's a great place to practice acceptance, and understanding that no matter where someone is on their journey, it's perfect, and just to see the perfection of life rather than all the problems. When we focus on what's not what we want and the way that we want it, then we're always…gonna never be enough, and trying to change others. When we see everything is perfect just the way it's supposed to be, and that you're on your journey, I'm on my journey, and we can learn from…I can learn from you, you can learn from me, we're all students, we're all teachers, we're all equal, then all of a sudden how we see life completely changes. And that is the filter, right? It's either the filter of the mind or the filter of consciousness. And I believe the mind is here to serve the heart. And so when we live from the heart, we can use the power of the mind, we can access…you know how they say we only have access to, what, 15% of our brain? Well, the only way that we can get access to the other 85% is by opening the heart. Because we're spiritual beings, and as we open the heart, all of a sudden the rest of the mind comes into activity, and that's how we access the rest of our brain. And most people are trying to do it all from here, and yet if you're not happy, if you're not connected, if you're not giving love, if you're not into this higher consciousness. You see Jesus, that was a perfect example, or in Buddha, in Krishna, Mohammad, Lao Tzu, Yogananda. There's so many great teachers out there, and there's so many similarities in all their teachings. And we have the opportunity to achieve that in our lifetime if we want to do the work.
David: Great. I would love to know, do you see link between money and spirituality?
Jay: Well, I think that, again, everything money is neutral, right? It depends on the consciousness. So that if we understand the abundance of love, that life itself is abundance, right? There's an abundance of love, that money can reflect that abundance. So we can choose to help others and to do wonderful things with it. But we find that if our identity and our self-esteem, our self-worth, is in money, well, then we know that life is going to teach us humility, so that if we, all of a sudden, if we lose that money, then I lose my identity of who I am, or my self-worth or my self-esteem, then we find a lot of people, they have a false sense of identity. So when we see that money can be used to help people, it can be used to do wonderful and amazing things, to support projects like you're doing, and to help educate the world, and it can also be used for some people as a prison, because they think that's what life is all about, then their whole life focus is money, and they miss out on the whole point of being here. So money is neutral. When we put it in alignment with love, and with humility, and with compassion, and with service, we can help and change the world. If we put it with selfish qualities, then it's gonna delay our progress rather than accelerate our progress. So I think money can do wonderful things and help people. But I know one thing, I learned very early in life, again, if your identity and your confidence and your self-esteem, your self-worth, is all in the material things, life is gonna be very difficult, because it's gonna be up and down, up and down. But when you really love yourself and accept yourself, whether you have money or you don't have money, or someone else has money or don't have money, it doesn't matter, because you're happy and you're connected within you, and you're always there to see how you can serve that other person. And so you don't judge others, you don't treat people differently, you treat everyone the same, because you see the same spiritual power in every one of us. And I think that, to me, is very powerful. When you see God in everyone, you treat everyone with love and kindness and gentleness. And imagine if we could do that as a world. We want to create world peace, but we're trying to change other people, or we're trying to tolerate other religions, rather than seeing that all religions are working towards the same objective. And when we finally get beyond the surface and we go a little bit deeper, we'll see that when we do…you know, when I treat you with love and kindness, it's a gift to you, and it's a gift to me, because we come from the same spiritual power. And to me, that's a very powerful understanding, and that expression, “With all thy getting, get understanding.” And I really believe that that is the greatest gift that we can give the world, is understanding who we are and why we are here. And then we can either do it the hard way, or we can do it the easy way. And life has a great sense of humor, it's gonna keep loving us no matter what. So to me, that's really cool.
David: Okay, great. Let's imagine that I'm earning $1 million. How can I know the proportion that I have to use to help people, and the proportion that I can use for me to build big house in Longa Beach?
Jay: Laguna Beach.
David: Laguna Beach.
Jay: Right, or wherever you want that to be, yeah. Well, again, I think it's, when we're really feeling connected, we'll know what we're here to do. And we know you can build a big house, but then what, you know? Are you just gonna stay in your house all the time and do what? You know? We're here to give. We're here to serve. So and again, perhaps, am I making that money working in harmony? Am I doing it with integrity? Am I doing it on purpose? Because we're here to give. We're here to serve the world into a higher consciousness. And so, if we're earning good money doing that, and we wanna have a nice home, and a nice car, and all these things, that's wonderful, but that's really not of…not coming from a place of, “Well, how much do I give back” because our whole lives are devoted to service, our whole lives are devoted to giving. And it's not doing it for the money. The money is an effect of doing what we love and doing what our purpose. It's not the cause. And I find that if people are motivated by money, then you can be motivated by money, or you can be inspired by service. And to me, inspiration comes from within, and it comes from living in spirit. Motivation comes from the outside, and is there to prove to other people, “I'm worthy, I'm here to prove to other people I'm going to be successful.” It's coming from all the…trying to get my needs filled, and it's never gonna be enough, you know. So whether it's approval or validation or recognition, as long as we're motivated to get from life, it's never gonna be enough if it's coming from the outside. But if we have those things already within ourselves, we love ourselves, we accept ourselves, we approve, then we can serve the world without any attachment at all. So whether we have a big house, a little house, God is abundant, love is abundant. So the money, the house, all those things, they can come, they can go, but it will never change who we are.
David: Okay. And isn't that great? I understand that not seeing outside will feel inside. So how can…because I have a huge audience in France, how the people can understand that? Well, I can say that to people, but how they can have the understanding to that? For example, I learned that it's not the money that it will help me to be happy because I earned money and I stayed in luxury hotel and achieved my goal. And the life helped me to see “Oh it's not that, it's that because I have money, that's going to make me happy.” But I earned money before to learn that. So when I say that to people, they say to me, “Oh, it's easy for you. You have money, you earn money, so it's easy. You are in a luxury hotel, you can't say that to me.” And sometimes they don't want to understand or listen to these things. And like me before. I was listening to that but I say, “Okay, okay, okay. Maybe you're right but I want money.” And how we can help people to understand that?
Jay: Well, to me, getting to the cause of understanding why we are here, to understand the journey of the soul, the evolution of the soul, and that there is a purpose to life, and the purpose of life is not to make money. If we make a lot of money doing what we love to do in service to others as part of our spiritual journey, then we have more to give. And then when we give, we are able to receive more. But we have a lot of people, just like you experienced yourself, and I experienced, it's like, “Okay, so now I finally made money, I thought I'm gonna be successful, now I'm gonna be happy, and, oh wait, there's something missing. Why is there still something missing? Oh, I need to get the perfect girlfriend. Oh, the perfect wife. Oh, wait a minute, okay, I have all this stuff. Wait, I'm supposed to be happy. Why does it feel like something is missing? Maybe I need to get more. And maybe 1 million, 10 million, 50 million, 100 million. Wait, it still feels like something's missing. Why does it feel like something's always missing?” So we can learn it the hard way, but that can take a lifetime, or maybe many, or we can understand by teaching others the purpose of life. If we understand…understand why we are here, this evolution, the journey of the soul. And my whole philosophy as a teacher is don't take my word for anything. If you exercise, and you go to the gym every day, do you get results? Does it matter if you like me? It doesn't matter at all. You do the work, you get the results. It's the same with the inner work. When you forgive, right? A lot of people you see, they're going through their life living through their childhood, right? They're trying to get validation and approval. They're trying to prove their parents wrong. They're out to get, you know? And all of a sudden, they finally, as they get older, start to realize, “Oh, wait a minute. I'm wasting my life because someone didn't know how to love, and I took it personally. And so instead of forgiving them, and seeing them, and just loving and accepting them, I'm wasting my life trying to prove to them that I'm worthy.” And so all of a sudden if we can understand the whole purpose of life, then we can participate and say, “Oh, I love you, mom and dad. Even though you weren't perfect, you were perfect for me. You taught me the lessons that I needed to learn, and you also taught me the things that I needed to learn to fulfill my purpose.” That life is really a perfect spiritual system. It knows what it's doing. You had the perfect parents, the perfect upbringing to prepare you, to bring you here to this moment, and this moment is preparing you for the next moment. It knows what it's doing. And when we learn to go with the flow…I always teach people that life is not meant to be a struggle. There's an effortlessness, there's a flow to life that once you get into that flow, everything just falls into place. And if things fall into place, the people, the money, the circumstances, you're going, “Well, why did I make it so hard for so long?” It's because we were trying so hard to do it ourselves, rather than to work in harmony with life. And then we get into this effortlessness. This ease of life, this flow of life, and we're like, “Where am I? This is so cool.” And we understand, “Oh, this is heaven. This is heaven on earth, this connection, this oneness, this effortlessness.” It's not about setting goals, and making goals, and proving to everyone that I'm gonna be successful, because that always never fulfills me. So when we get into that flow, all of a sudden you're like, “Oh, I'm starting to realize how much I don't know.” There's that place of wisdom when we begin to realize, “Wow, the more I learn, the more I realize there's so much more.” There's always another level to get to. And life is gonna get us there, either effortlessly, or it's gonna get us there the hard way. It's totally up to us. And so that's been my experience, and…
David: Yes, it's inspiring. You do some speeches, right?
David: You do speeches for companies?
Jay: I do companies, I also do public events, my own public events, and I also do sometimes at spiritual centers or churches, sometimes associations and fundraisers. You know, for those people who are the students of…the students of…
David: Do you have a lot of companies, or not?
Jay: Yes, I've spoken at major companies all over North America.
David: Okay. So I would love to know, because I have a kind of maybe not bad but I don't know how to say that but belief, limiting belief that if I don't talk about how to sell more, I can't enter a company. Because in France, I don't enter a lot of companies. My audience is not [inaudible 00:30:02] particular, particulars.
Jay: Particular? Specific?
David: No. It's not company, it is the audience, large audience. You have the choice between companies and…?
Jay: And the public?
David: Public, yes. So my audience is more public, so I can build my own event and talk about what I want to do.
David: But I have the belief that I can't enter companies with maybe spiritual messages. So do you struggle…did you struggle for that, and, yes, how to do that?
Jay: That's a great question. I know when I started, and I was at your age, and I found that, how could I take a positive message and put it into a language that was non-threatening? So I found a lot of sometimes teachers or people that I thought would be really helpful, but they wouldn't last in a boardroom, right? And I grew up in a…as a hockey player, I grew up in a…you know, in a locker room, which is like a boardroom, right? So what I wanted to do my first training program I created was I would train a lot of salespeople, and a lot of other people, but it had nothing to do with sales, because I had…I believed that sales and even the performance had nothing to do with…you know, most people know what to do, they know how to do it. What they don't understand is the why. And to me it's the why that connects the dots. And as a hockey player, I was always taught my performance was 80% mental. And so one day after I had the brain surgery, and I was given, you know, the 15 months to live, I asked my hockey coach, “Well, if it's 80% mental, why do we spend two hours every day developing 80% of the outcome?” Right? We only spend…we don't spend any time at all on working on the mental side at all. And it's the same thing in companies, right? Sales is all about connection. Life is all about connection. So if we learn to connect with ourselves and we learn to connect with others and build an authentic relationship, I'm gonna have a greater improvement in my sales. So my program had nothing to do with sales at all, but the average person would see an increase of 10 to 30% increase in sales because of their relationship with themselves, because now they were more authentic. They were more vulnerable. They were more transparent. Instead of having an agenda of “What can this person do for me?” they were meeting their customer of “How could I serve them?” So the energy between their customers and their clients, and all of a sudden their marriage was getting better. All of a sudden their relationship with their children. They were more present, more focused, more happy, more content. All of a sudden they're like, “Wow, it not just improved my sales, it improved my life,” because it's the same foundation for everything. And that was my frustration as an athlete, where we're taught a very strong foundation, so if we go through a slump, we go back to the foundation. But what are you and I taught about building a foundation for life? And if we're not taught this in schools, we're not taught this at churches, where are we supposed to learn this information? And that's what motivated me and inspired me to write my book, and to do the searching that you're doing right now, as well. So I…
David: And it is you, you find companies, or the companies find you?
Jay: Well, both, I guess. Sometimes I'm finding them, sometimes they're finding me. A lot of times…
David: What do you say to them?
Jay: Well, a lot of times I say to them is…you know, I find so much of the training out there, a lot of it is the same. And I talk to a lot of vice presidents or CEOs who also, they're very successful. They have the money, they have the power, they have the success, they have the family, they have all that, but they're driven to succeed, and they wanna get to the next level. They know there's another level to get to. Successful people are always driven to succeed. They're not motivated by money, they're motivated to keep growing, right? It's the growth that is exciting to them, to get to the next level. And so you can ask them about that, about, “Do you wanna…do you feel like something's missing? Does your soul feel like there's more to life than this? And you know that to get your company to the next level, you have to grow to the next level.” It's amazing how much a company reflects the leadership of the CEO or the manager. It's incredible how it does. So what I try to teach people is the evolution of leadership, just like the evolution of religion, but it's the evolution of leadership, where transparency is the new commodity, and connection is the new currency. So I help people make this shift, instead of focusing on their legacy, they focus on enlightenment. And all of a sudden they bring a new energy into the company. All of a sudden there's a new transparency, and the company's free, it's limitless to grow. So instead of being like this, the company becomes like that, because the CEO took his…opened his mind up, he opened his heart up, and all of a sudden he's not separate from the company, he's there to serve the company, and to serve the public. And it shifts, and people are more sensitive now than ever, wouldn't you agree? As you travel around the world, you see people…we like to do companies that are what? That are doing good in the world. That they need to be profitable, but they also need to treat people well. They need to treat the planet well. And that's conscious capitalism. That's the evolution of capitalism, as well. And we're seeing that happening around the world, because as consumers, we get to pick who we do business with. And I only wanna support companies who do things the right way, who treat people well, who have a good intention, who…you know, who treat the planet well. And I think that's really important, and a big change that's happening around the world.
David: Great. Thank you.
Jay: Have you seen that?
David: Yes. Thank you for this answer. I would love to know your point of view about something. I will build a new company. This is a special project, daily inspiration. And I know that this project will be…will have an impact on millions of people. It's a great idea. I love that. So I was wondering, do I have to build a nonprofit foundation? Do I have to build a new company? And it's not easy for me to know between both.
Jay: Right. Well, I mean, I've struggled with the same, the same question, as well. But whether you're profit or nonprofit, you still have to be profitable, right?
Jay: So because if you're not making money, and you're not…if you're losing money, you're not in business anymore. So whichever way you decide to do it, you still have to be profitable. The most important thing is your intention. So, I mean, even nonprofits, you're taking a salary, and you're out there to help people, and people can donate to your cause. And if you're also doing it as part of a profitable company, you're providing services that are helping people. So either way, you're doing good work. It's just the business model that is going to apply to how you want to shape your company. So either way, I don't think it matters, because your intention is to serve the highest good, to help humanity. It just depends on the business model that is gonna help you achieve that the most. Is that through nonprofit and donation, or is that through product development and services? Either way it's fine, because the intention is pure, and so…and either way, you have to be profitable. So to me, once you understand, I think when you come from that place, it doesn't matter which way you go. It'll be perfect. And whichever way you choose, as long as the intention is pure, and then it's just the products and services, and how you wanna do it. But you know that part of your…building your company is that you also wanna give back, and so it's how you wanna give back is also determines, that's part of your business model, as well. But that comes from you, so only you will know the…you know, how you also want to give back, and, you know, not just through your products and services, but also maybe giving money away, and helping other people that could use that help for other products and services, too. We know it's fun to help other people succeed. When people have a dream, and they have a purpose, and we can support them and help them create that, that's a beautiful privilege and an honor to do that, too.
David: Yes, I think so. Do you help people to feel more gratitude?
Jay: Absolutely. And I think…
David: So how do you…how can we develop gratitude?
Jay: Well, I think gratitude also comes with understanding, you know, we take a lot for granted, you know? I think everyone should be given 15 months to live. Right? When you're given 15 months to live, and you're diagnosed with something that no one can change, you're grateful to be alive, right? We find a lot of people, gratitude comes with perspective, and when we understand, when we're grateful to be here on the planet, when we're grateful for this opportunity of a lifetime to evolve and to develop our divine qualities, we see that life is a privilege. It's an opportunity. And when we're not feeling gratitude, it's when we're focused on what we don't have, or we're focused on what we want from life that life is not working for us. And I try to teach people that life is happening for you. It's not happening to you. So life knows what it's doing, and it's always happening for your highest good. And when you're helping others and serving their highest good, then you're in alignment, you're in harmony. And with that harmony comes gratitude, because you see that it's a privilege, and it's an honor to serve others. When we're not feeling gratitude is when we're trying to take from life. But the nature of love is to give, and when our true essence is love, and the nature of life is to give, then it's only through our service to others that we begin to feel that gratitude. All of a sudden as we give more, we're able to receive more, and as we receive more, we can give more. And then it keeps going around, and the more we give, the more we receive. But how many people do you meet that have a hard time receiving, right? How many people do you know who have thick walls around them, right? Where they don't really let anybody in. And I've tried to share with people that those walls that you build to protect yourself, they become your prison, because when you don't let anybody in, you're not letting love in, either. And as long as you're not letting love in or giving your love unconditionally, you're always gonna feel disconnected, and you can never feel grateful when you're feeling disconnected. Gratitude comes with connection. And that's why I try to teach people, the greatest gift you can give the world is to put…take down those walls of protection, that your transparency, your vulnerability, that's the key to your connection, and that giving your love and opening your heart up, opening yourself up to life, all of a sudden you see, “Wow, where was this the whole time? I didn't realize that this was even possible.”
And I see people all the time, they're always praying to God to protect them, and I always ask them, “From what?” God, protect me from God? It's all God. It's all good. It's all happening for your highest good. So it's not a matter of you. You are protected. Your protection is your unconditional love. And when you try to take, then that's when life gives you lessons. It's not trying to punish you. It's not trying to get back at you. Life is trying to help you grow. And so when you participate in your growth, life gets easier, and then you can give more to the world. And then all of a sudden the gratitude, the love, the trust. And how many people do we know who fight life? When something happens in life, they go, “Oh, why is this happening to me?” And we fight it, we resist it then. My goal is over here, and life is happening over here, and I'm trying to tell people, trust it, go with the flow, trust life. It knows what it's doing. It's taking you exactly where you need to go. And I found many of the greatest blessings of my life I didn't have a goal for, I never even could have come up with in a million years, you know? I'm adopted. I met my biological mother, you know? I didn't set a goal for it. I didn't even go out looking for her, right? I had a side effect of the brain surgery, and a doctor needed to get some medical information, and he contacted the neurology center, and they contacted the adoption center, and it just happened that she just happened to open up the medical file, and what usually takes five years took three weeks. I ended up having lunch with my biological mother, who was an amazing, beautiful, spiritual woman, and a great blessing in my life. So you can't…I didn't set that as a goal. I never even thought that was even a possibility. I didn't even feel the need to even do that. But it was part of my preparation, part of my growth, and part of her growth and healing. And it was a beautiful, harmonious, synchronistic. And even my two moms got to meet each other and become friends, and they're both beautiful, spiritual women. And so life, when you see like that, you go, “Oh, I need to pay attention to life. I need to pay attention to where life is taking me and where life wants me to go, because if I don't pay attention, life is gonna have to work harder to get my attention. And giving me what looks like problems.” But it's really not problems, it's just life getting us on the right path.
David: Hmm. Thank you.
Jay: It's a different way to think, that's all.
David: Yeah. Very different way to think, I agree. And I would love to know, how do you do when someone, for example, I have a client in France, when I say “spirituality,” he's afraid. So how can we help people who don't want to hear from spirituality?
Jay: I get that all the time, too. And so it's important, I think, to be sensitive to others. And I always ask people, you know, if they're afraid of the word “spirituality,” or the word “God,” or whatever it is, that's okay. But I ask them, “What does spirituality mean to you?” So let's define it. It's like, it's about even having a conversation about success. Well, what is success? What does success mean to you? Because it may mean one thing to you and something completely different to me. So we could be having an argument about who's right, and we're both right according to our definition of what we think success is. So when someone comes across to me and says, “Well, I don't like that word “spirituality,” I just ask them, “Well, what does that mean to you?” And then they…when they tell me, I say, “Well, how about we replace the word “spirituality” with the word “life?” And do you believe in love?” And they're like, “Well, yes, I believe in love.” “So we'll use the word “love” instead of “spirituality.” We'll find the word that works for you for whatever your beliefs are right now. But once we get beyond those beliefs, then it won't matter what word we use, but let's work with where you're at right now. Because whether we use the word “God,” “love,” “life,” “spirituality,” it doesn't matter. It still works. It's still there.” So I just work with them where they're at, and get them also to laugh at themselves, because once we start to lighten up and to laugh at ourselves, the universe loves and just laughs with us. And so if we see those people, they've had a bad experience, or they're not too sure, and that's wonderful, because, as you have seen probably with clients, a lot of your…the big skeptics, they become the big believers. You notice how they go from one extreme to the other extreme? And a lot of people in the middle kind of stay in the middle? But the people who are real skeptical, if they do the work, they go to the other extreme, and they become your biggest supporters, and they wanna see you, help get your message out there to more and more people.
David: Yeah, I see.
Jay: Isn't that interesting?