Joseph : Hum, again. Because we have maybe a more little time. The quick answer is : first it's always three things. Number one : know what you want. That's a number one thing. And I give an example. People come to me, you know I've done this for many many years. How people get away from fears, of phobias and that kind of thing. Traditionally, I will ask somebody what do you want ? And they go : I don't want to be afraid of dogs anymore. And I say :”Okay. What do you want ?” And they go :” I'm afraid of dogs and I don't want to be afraid of dogs anymore. Okay. Great. “What do you want ?” And they go :” I wanna lose my fear of dogs.” And I go :” Okay. Great. What do you want ? and they go : “I'm telling you”. And I go : “No. You're telling me what you don't want.” Because I know. Because they're going to fear dog, fear dog, fear dogs. They tell me what they don't want. So I get them to the point that I go : ” really really want”. And they go : ” I wanna be able to hold the puppy and feel excited about it.” Then three things happen. Number one, I know I'm pointing him to the right direction. And I give them what they want now, when I say they want. And they feel it, which is number two. And in number three, they experience what they want and I can capture that. You know. I always. It's not a joke. I always tell people. If you've got a fear of dog, guess who it's gonna be in my office when you come there. A dog. You've got a fear of height ? We're gonna go up skydiving. You've got a fear of closed places, we're gonna go in an elevator. And the reason being is because I need to, I practice something called the neural sciences. And versus, taking your time and stretching it out through time people. And you know, I've worked with a lot of people who have been in front of other therapies for years and years and years without getting no result. So, number one, help them figure out what they want. Number two, help them figure out what it is that stops them. And it's not the dog. If it's the fear of dog, it's not. It's the thought of the dog. It's not the dog. Because those people are horrified with no dog around them. They spend their lives. Then I'm just using dogs as an example. Sheltering themselves and keeping themselves away from dog. So, is it the fear of dogs ? or is it the dog ? No. It's the thought of the dog. And it's what people recognize it's themselves they're doing it to them. Not the dog. Then that's step number two. Help forget what's stopping them. And the number three, is to bast, open that thought, an emotional pattern. Meaning, help them wader in it to get away from it. We call it in a rope. Because if I interrupt somebody when they're doing anything, they're no longer where they were. You know. When you and I are talking and an explosion happens over there. Guess what. Our focus is over there, but when I.. in this conversation. But that's a valuable moment because what we're going, what's going over here ? We're very curious. We're open. And so, which is the fourth step. Is that to put into that place what they want. So to take from the very beginning and put it in and giving it the brother's jokes. Put that in that place. And then the next step is to condition it. Doing it over and over again to make it so that is the place the nervous system default too. And doing it over and over again condition it to pretty soon. They're no longer it. Somebody comes in and get a fear of dogs. And in less than an hour's time they're gonna be holding a puppy.
David : And how do you mean, person interrupt. Right ? And how do you do that for example with fear of dogs.
Joseph : It's thousand different ways. You know. Hum, I'm I'm…
David : Yeah, An example for example.
Joseph : Yeah. I throw a glass of water in somebody's face. Or yell at him or I have somebody else who walked in. Or set off a size to have this things. To have it. That is to say, it's a can of air with a horn on it. They're sitting underneath my desk. And all I have to do is push that. No. Then suddenly, it's gonna interrupt their .. anything. I jump up and grab him, shake him around. I mean, I'm spontaneous. I'll do anything.
David : And at this time, what do you do after ? I would like.. Because sometimes, I coach people one to one. So you interrupt the pattern. And then what you do ?
Joseph : Well. The easy answer is to have them experience what they experience in the very beginning. In other words, to help them figure out what it is they want. And they go :”Oh, I wanna hold a puppy.” Then in a moment, they're already there. So, we can do it through hankering, you can do it through repetition. Most of the time I use a hankering process to bring him right back to that place. And just I say : “okay calm down right now. What do you really want ? And they go… And we do it again. We do it again. I mean that, again. There's so much to and I'm certainly not doing justice by saying : ” Just do this. This certain things…Quite a bit more to it. But…
David : It is a short process. Yeah
Hum, do you have sometimes bad mood. Yeah, do you have sometimes bad mood ?
Joseph : I'm not gonna say I have bad mood. What I have is, I'm human
David : Yeah. Truly ?
Joseph : Truly. Yes. Yes. In contrary of people believe. Gosh. I have times when there are a lot things that happen. I give an example. Here is what I will consider you might call a bad mood. Hum, something stress for what happen.
David : Yeah
Joseph : Perfect example. Okay. So I say yes. However our mind is extremely extremely short. Habitually now. And that's what we want. I'm not saying…
David : It is by saying the other question. How do you shift it ??
Joseph : Well. Because of what I've done. A process that I've done. Simple process. One in particular. Something I call stop technic. Which is, I wanna take something that I teach in seminars, which is to replace a bad emotion. Maybe a real carrying our emotion : fear, anger, frustration. Whatever, with a great emotion. And make it so that the bad emotion or something that happens straggles you to feel good. I give an example. How it works. It's a long process but. Too long for us to explain here but I'll give an example of the in result. I was just in Italy three weeks ago. And we, my promotor and business partner and I had a flight to London. And so, the car picked us up at the hotel in Italy and drove us an hour and a half to the airport. Got out of the car. Went through security. Went to go to passport check. And I realize I didn't have my phone. I left my phone in the car. And at that moment, I was in a bad mood. At that moment, I panicked. I'm in a foreign country. My business partner had already gone through the line. He was already on the other side. And I had no..and for second it's just like : I've got no phone !! And it's like, you know. Have you ever lost your phone ? Yes. Exact. For a second. But then within seriously ten seconds, maybe fifteen seconds. I'm panicking and my brain was : hey well now we get together iPhone 5. And then quickly I got in the good mood. And I use that as an example because I mean that is pretty serious to have lost your phone. You know. Especially..
David : Yeah. I did that two months ago in the taxi. The taxi was leaving. And I have lost my iPhone 4. I have an iPhone 5 now.
Joseph : By the way, how long did you…thought that you didn't have your phone ?
David : How long ?
Joseph : How did you worry about it ? Did you go ,oh no I don't have my phone. What am I gonna do ?
David : Maybe two hours.
Joseph : Yeah. You see. Me it was ten seconds, fifteen seconds. And what I'm saying is that's a result of what I teach.
David : Yeah
Joseph : ‘Cause I believe I got it. I can teach theory I got a practice for each. And I'm not saying I was ecstatic about it. I was happy about it. But one of the things…hey well I get. ‘Cause I was in a better mood now. Then my brain started to work. And instead of worrying about it, getting my brain and saying : Okay, what do I do ? And so I went to the lounge and I sent an email to my business partner. I know he looks at this email on his phone and he called the taxi company. And they've too foregone so they found, they got the phone. And then they overnighted towards to the next destination. So, now that I need to feel better. But you know, I've got to think clearer. And I know that I've worried and stressed.
David : So, you build a kind of habit to shift quickly. And it's easier.
Joseph : Yes. It's one of the thing that we teach in one of our jobs called the A factor. Which is what I call emotional mechanics. Which is a way to manage your own emotions. Manage meaning to predetermine what your response is. And a response is different than a reaction. Reaction is no thought. Response is you think about it. You know. even if it's for a second. So predetermining your response is going to be anything that happens. So, therefore one bad things happen, unfortunately things happen and things happen. They're undesirable. You know what your response is going to be. I say, on stage for me, for most people, they go : You gotta go in front of ten thousand people. Mostly we'll go : ohh no. For me it's just like cool. And I literally get I feel right now. I literally get calm down. Because I've conditioned myself to be that. It's very simple too.