David Laroche : So, hello achievers. Today I am with a new, amazing and awesome guy. He is Dr. John Demartini. He is considered one of the world’s leading authorities on human behavior and personal development. He is a human behavior specialist, educator and author, and you will learn a lot from him and I’m very glad to do this interview with him. So hello, John.
Dr John Demartini : Good morning. Afternoon, I guess, there.
David Laroche : How are you today?
Dr John Demartini : I’m doing great.
David Laroche : Before I ask you more specific questions, I would like to know more about your journey and, especially, your struggles. I love to learn and to listen from struggles, and how you overcame it. So, where did you come from and how did you overcome your struggles?
Dr John Demartini : Well, I am not sure how much time you have. The best thing I can say is that I was born with some challenges. I had a deformed arm and leg and I had to wear braces as a child, which inspired me to want to be free and to not be constrained, which… I travel full-time, so that probably was initiated there. Then I was told in first grade I would never be able to read or write or communicate, never amount to anything, never go very far in life. I had learning problems, which I really didn’t read my first book until I was 18. I had learning challenges. And so, the perfection of that is that today I’m a researcher, writer, traveler and teacher, because I had to overcome all that. And that void became a value. Then I kind of hung out on the streets. I lived on the streets when I was a teenager because I had dropped out of school and was illiterate. And that taught me how to ask questions, and I’m known today for my questions that I ask people. And so, I always say that anything in your life that you can’t say thank you for is an illusion and baggage, and anything you can say thank you for is fueling opportunity. And so, now, even though I was going through those stages, I couldn’t say that I was appreciative of all of it but I can certainly look back now and say, “Thank you.” All those things were necessary. I nearly died when I was 17, of strychnine and cyanide poisoning, which led me into the health field and led me into chiropractic, which I’m very grateful for. And that led me also into philosophy. When I was 17 I met an amazing teacher one night, named Paul Bragg, who lectured for one hour that literally inspired me to believe I might be able to learn to read, and study and conquer my learning problems. And that was the turning point in my life, and that was the night I saw the vision of doing what I’m doing today, which is full-time traveling around the world, researching, and educating, and learning, and trying to share with people and help people live more inspiring lives. So that’s a nutshell, in a brief one-minute, two-minute, three-minute thing, I think. I could go on a little longer but you don’t, probably, want to hear that.
David Laroche : Yes, I would love to hear whole stories. I love stories.
Dr John Demartini : Yeah, well, all I know is that I’m very grateful for my life. I was born on Thanksgiving Day in America…
David Laroche : Wow.
Dr John Demartini : … and my mom told me, when I was four, to make sure I count my blessings because those who are grateful for what they have get more to be grateful for, and I believe that’s true. Every book I’ve ever written, everything I’ve ever done still refers to gratitude because I think that’s the cornerstone. And so, you know, I’m just a man that’s dedicated to studying everything I can get my hands on and anything that could help people maximize who they are in their awareness and potential, and live more magnificent, inspired lives. I’m dedicated to it. I’ve been doing it 41 years. I’ve been teaching now for 41 years.
David Laroche : I was not born.
Dr John Demartini : Yeah, and I don’t know how old you are but…
David Laroche : Twenty-four.
Dr John Demartini : Twenty-four, well, you’re my children’s age. I have a daughter who’s almost 28, another one is 25 and my son is 22.
David Laroche : Oh, great. If they want to come in Paris, I would love to talk with them. You, too.
Dr John Demartini : Well, they travel a bit so it’s very possible they’ll be there.
David Laroche : Okay. You said something very important for me. You said gratitude, and I believe a lot in the power of gratitude because, from few months, I had an experience with young people and I felt a lot of gratitude. So, according to you, how we can develop gratitude in our life?
Dr John Demartini : Well, I think that no matter what happens in our life, it’s on the way not in the way. It’s instructive not obstructive. It’s a feedback not a frustration. And it’s helping us become masters of our destiny, not victims of our history. And all we have to do is look at things from a different perspective. It’s never what happens to us, it’s how we perceive it, what we decide to do with it and how we act from it. And I’m a firm believer that everything has two sides. So if you see a downside, if you look carefully enough there’s always an upside. And I believe that the gratitude is the key that opens up the gateway of the heart. I believe inside the heart there’s love. And I believe that the second we are grateful, our heart opens, we feel love and we become inspired and enthused, and we produce more and become more. So I’m a believer that if we stop, and reflect, and look at our day and keep records of the things we’re grateful for… I have a large, I’d almost lean over there, but I have a 1500-page book of nothing but gratitude, and they’re 10-point. And I document everyday of my life the things I’m grateful for every day. So I have probably the largest collection of gratitude you’ll probably ever meet.
David Laroche : Yes, so we can focus every day on a lot of things we have gratitude for, to develop it?
Dr John Demartini : Well, if we look at… If you stop and just reflect for a moment on what you are able to do, the people you meet, things you get to do, the opportunities, the challenges, everything, and you stop and look at it and ask, “So, how’s whatever I’m experiencing today, how’s it helping me fulfill what I believe is most meaningful, most inspiring, most purposeful, my mission for life? If you ask that every day, and don’t stop asking that until you answer it, until you’re grateful, you’ll discover that there’s amazing things helping you fulfill your dreams in life. So I’m a firm believer that the quality of your life’s based on the quality of the questions you ask, and if you ask questions, “How’s whatever I’m experiencing serving me?” you’ll have plenty of things to be grateful for today. There’s always a lesson. I teach a course called “The Breakthrough Experience.” I’ve been teaching 24 years. Your age, since your age. And in that course I have people come to the course with almost every imaginable experience, from deaths in the family to traumas. You know, all kinds of things. And I haven’t seen one thing that can’t be turned into gratitude, not one. I have seen the most outrageous stuff you’ve ever imagined. There’s always another side to it, so if you look carefully enough there’s a hidden order behind the apparent chaos, and asking the right questions reveals it. And in that hidden order is a degree of gratitude. And there’s two kinds of gratitude. One is what I call the animal gratitude. The animal gratitude is when things support you and you go, “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” Things are easy, things are supporting you. Anybody can come up with that. But the second things challenge you, your gratitude kind of dissipates. But the true gratitude is when you can take support and challenge equally, and see how both of them serve you. Because if you look in your life carefully, you’ll realize that some of the greatest gifts of your life have come from the challenges that you’ve faced, not the support. So when you can be grateful for the challenges and the resistance and the so-called negatives, that’s when you really have a deeply meaningful gratitude. I think that no matter what happens in your life on a daily basis it’s wise to ask, “How’s whatever I’m experiencing supportive or challenging? How’s it help me fulfill my mission on Earth?” If you look carefully enough, it always is.
David Laroche : And, yes, I would love to know in one sentence, what is a challenge for you?
Dr John Demartini : Well, every human being lives by a set or priorities, a set of values in their life, and anything that you think is blocking, interfering or causing a resistance to the fulfillment of your highest values, you’ll typically label as challenge. So it’s something that you perceive that’s slowing down the momentum of your objectives. But, really, they’re not challenges, just perceptions. Because I had a gentleman that came to my Breakthrough Experience program about a year and a half ago, and he just found out that the partner in his company, two partners in his company, had walked off with $750 million. So he was a near-billionaire one day, and the next day he found out all his assets were taken offshore and he had nothing. He had no money whatsoever, and he was pretty angry when he found out. At first, he was shocked. He couldn’t comprehend that this has happened. He couldn’t imagine who had done that, and he found out it was his two partners in business and they were running out of the country, getting out of the country because of some legal issues, and they took all the money. And so here he was now, a wealthy man living like a king, and the next minute doesn’t have a penny to his name. I would call that, probably, a challenge for most people. And we sat him in the Breakthrough Experience, I had him come to the front of the room and we asked him, “So what’s specifically did you feel you lost?” and he listed everything. And then, “What did you actually gain?” and we started looking at what he gained, and he said, “I gained a realization who are my true friends. I gained a realization that my wife loved me even though I didn’t have money. I gained a realization that my kids were there and we got really close as a family. I gained a realization of who was my client really dedicated to being served as clients and who was just utilizing me.” And he just went on and on and on, and we didn’t stop writing down the benefits until he had tears in his eyes. And when he was done, he realized something really amazing. He realized that had he not had that money taken from him, he would have been in partnership with two gentlemen that had done something that were federal offenses, and he would have ended up in prison. And he, by being released, by them taking his money he was released from the project, they were now in trouble and he was free. And all the knowledge, they never could take away his knowledge, they never could take away his wisdom, they could never take away his love, but they could take away that cash. As a result of it, he was freed. The clients that were once in the business all went to him. And now, as a result of that, after we did the exercise, he went on to build a four and a half billion dollar company…
David Laroche : Wow.
Dr John Demartini : …with all those clients and all the things. It was really quite amazing, what he did. But all he did is he asked, “How is this serving my highest value and what’s the benefits that come out of these things?” and he didn’t stop until they balanced the drawbacks. And when he did, his heart opened because he had true gratitude and he saw blessings. And the second we have true gratitude, we have strategic awareness that allows us to see opportunities and allows us to see strategies to go and fulfill amazing dreams. Anyway, he said one of the greatest things that ever happened to him is these guys taking $750 million. And, anyway, now, a year and a half later, he’s in a totally different position. He says he couldn’t have invested his way into the position he is today with his $750 million. What happened was the best thing that could have happened. So I always say that there’s no crisis without blessing, there’s no scars without stars, there’s always two sides to it. And the master is the one who’s able to see both sides, synchronously, and liberate themselves from the emotional bondage of one-sidedness, and, you know, appreciate life. So that’s what gratitude can do.
David Laroche : It’s great. I love this story, it’s amazing. I would like to know, because I believe a lot in that, what is and how works epigenetic?
Dr John Demartini : Well, I just produced a new audio cassette program, or what do you call it? Not audio cassette but a CD program on epigenetics and neuroplasticity, so I’ve been studying that many, many years, before it was even called that. But epigenetics…see, what happened is, originally in developmental biology, when the sperm and the egg united and the haploid genetics joined together to make a diploid, the zygo which is a resultant cell that emerged from the sperm and ovum, started to duplicate itself undergoing mitosis and dividing. When it occurred, the daughter cells of each mitotic division kept differentiating and creating different cells, and it goes to what they call a morula phase, and a blastular phase, and then a gastrular phase and then it differentiates into ectoderm, mesoderm and endoderm. And it continues to differentiate until it becomes normal cells that we have as a multi-trillion cell organism called the human. But each time the cell divides, the genetic code is the same. The genes are the same, but what is different is the chemical signals between each cell secretes a morphogen, a signal molecule, and causes an epigenetic change in the gene expression. So epigenetics is a genetic expression as a result of stimuli on the cell wall that causes a different aspect of the genes to be expressed or repressed. So epigenetics is an expression or repression of the normal gene function. And so we all have the same genes but we have epigenetic alterations, primarily through what they call methylation and acetylation. Whenever something challenges our values, we create what is called a methylation, and anytime something supports our highest values, we get acetylation. And they induce changes in the genetic expression and cause cells to manufacture different proteins and different functions and structures of developing. So our mind, and our perceptions and our emotions impact epigenetics, which then alters the neurons in the brain and our neuroplasticity is developed. We literally build and destroy neurons in the brain, and adapt resiliently to our changing environment through our perceptions. So neuroplasticity and epigenetics are woven together in their response to our perceptions. So the greatest discovery of our generation, William James said, is that we can alter our lives by altering our perceptions and attitudes and mind, through epigenetics and neuroplasticity. And we can therefore change our autonomic functions and our physiology, because I really believe that the physiology inside is just constantly whispering to us, to help us become the most authentic and most inspired and grateful beings we can become. So the mastery of life is the mastery of perceptions. If we can alter our perceptions, we can alter our destiny.
David Laroche : Great, and what is the influence of the people you have around you about epigenetics?
Dr John Demartini : Well, every weekend in the Breakthrough Experience program that I teach, I introduce the power of our perceptions and the neurological pathways, and how it epigenetically and neuroplastically affects the brain and body. And the sky’s the limit on it. I mean, whether things are real or imagined, our perceptions can alter our physiology and alter our outcomes, our capacities to create, our capacities to awaken things. I really believe that we have seven areas that we’re here to master. We have a spiritual quest that we’re here to fulfill our spiritual mission. We have a mental quest to awaken our genius. We have a business quest to go out and be of vast service to the world. We have a financial quest to be financially free and independent. We have a family quest, or a loving quest, to have love and intimacy. We have a social quest to have influence and to leave a difference there. And physically, we have an influence quest to have vitality and beauty. And I really believe that we have the capacity to empower all of those, expand all of those, and influence and exemplify the capacities of the human being in all these areas. So, through perceptions, epigenetics, plasticity and biophysiology changes, we have the ability to literally alter our lives and alter the people around us. So I’m a firm believer that any area of our life we don’t empower, somebody’s here to overpower us. And the purpose of their overpowering us is to frustrate us enough and challenge us enough to epigenetically alter us to get ourselves empower. So everything is on the way. Nothing is interfering with our destiny. But our highest values are leading us on the path, we’ve just got to know who we are, our highest values, because that’s our identity.
David Laroche : How did you learn how to articulate and master the way you speak?
Dr John Demartini : You know, I don’t even think about it. I learned to play the flute by playing the flute. Can I share? I’ll share a little bit of my story, I guess. When I nearly died at 17 and I was found in my tent by a woman in a jungle, and she helped me recover from… I was three and a half days unconscious and she helped me recover from that, and took me to a health foods store. And one day, leaving the health foods store, I saw a little flyer on the door, and that’s what made me go to the class where Paul Bragg was teaching. He inspired me one night at this little class, and sent me on a journey to believe that I could be intelligent, and awakened inside me, in a meditation, to be a speaker, to be an educator. And I had a dream to do that because I was told I would never read or write. And so I had a dream, even though I never thought it would happen, I had a dream that I would someday be intelligent. My sister was intelligent but I wasn’t. So, that night when I heard him speak, he inspired me so much he made me believe that maybe, just somehow, I could be intelligent. So I ended up studying with this man for three weeks and then, eventually, flying back from Hawaii, where I was living at the time, back to LA and then I hitch-hiked back to Texas. And I end up taking a GED, which is a high school equivalency test. I end up taking a college entrance exam, and by guessing I passed these freaking tests. I just guessed. And I started college, and when I took my first class in college I failed. I just, I got a 27 on my first test. I go, “Wow,” and I literally almost gave up on my dream of being a teacher and traveling. And I literally drove home crying, and got home and curled up in a fetal position underneath my bible stand in my mom’s living room. And I just had a dark moment. I couldn’t see my vision of being a teacher and a philosopher, and I just assumed I would never read. And my mom came home from shopping and she said, “Son, what happened?” I said, “Well, I blew the test. I bombed it. I got a 27, I needed a 72 to pass.” And she said…she didn’t know what to say at first. Finally, she put her hand on my shoulder and she said, “Son, whether you become a great teacher, healer and philosopher and travel the world like you dream, whether you become a longhaired, hippy surfer in the north shore of Oahu and ride big waves, like you’ve done, or whether you return to the streets and panhandle as a bum,” which I also had done, “I just want to let you know that your father and I are going to love you no matter what.”
David Laroche : Wow.
Dr John Demartini : When she said that, I got teary eyed. She was teary eyed. My hand went into a fist and I looked up and I saw my vision of me standing in front of a million people, speaking and sharing the power we have inside to heal. And I said to myself, “I’m going to master this thing called reading. I’m going to master this thing called studying. I’m going to master this thing called philosophy and teaching, and I’m going to do whatever it takes. I’m going to travel whatever distance, I’m going to pay whatever price to give my service of love and I’m not going to let anything on the face of the Earth stop me, not even myself.” And I got up and I hugged my mom. And I went into my room and I got a dictionary out and I start reading the dictionary. And I started memorizing 30 words a day. And my mom would test me on 30 words a day, on how to pronounce them, because I had a speech impediment, and how to gain meaning from it, which is very difficult when you’re dyslexic. Because I was writing backwards and reading backwards. And slowly but surely, after doing 30 words a day, working very hard at it, sometimes 18 to 20 hours a day, I was growing my vocabulary. And, slowly but surely, I started passing. And then I end up excelling because I was driven more than any of the other students. And eventually went on to be a scholar, and went on to read now 29,000, almost 30,000 books. So I learned how to read and I learned how to write. I started writing, and then what happened is a 375 pound Afro-American woman came up to me and asked me if I could teach her. And then a Persian man came and asked me if I could be his teacher. Then a German man came up and asked me if I could be a teacher. And by the time I was 18 I started attracting students in the library where I was studying all day, to teach them. And then when I went on to professional school, I taught six and seven nights a week, whatever I was reading early in the morning. And by then I was speed reading at least seven books a day. And then that grew to, eventually, around the city and then the state. And then, by the time I was 29, I started lecturing around America and Canada. And now, I’ve been blessed to be in 99 countries and I go to about 60 countries a year. And we’ve reached now billions of people, literally, across the world with media and all kinds of different vehicles. So, you know, I just learned to play the flute by playing the flute. I can’t say I ever took a class on speaking, I just learned by playing the flute, I just started speaking. And I can’t wait to get up in the morning and share what I have to offer and people seem to want to be able to hear it, so I do it every day. I’ve already done over 200 talks this year, 200 speeches this year, and I’ll probably do close to 400 this year. And I do interviews. I do at least two or three a day, on average. So I constantly am doing communication. After a while you just do it. If you stay with something long enough…they say it takes 10,000 hours to be a masterful and an expert. I think it’s more likely to be a quarter of a million hours. If you put a quarter of a million hours into something, you get pretty good at it.
David Laroche : Thank you very much for sharing me your story. It’s so inspiring for me.
Dr John Demartini : I love what I do. You know, when you can’t wait to get up in the morning and do what you love to do, people can’t wait to get your service.
David Laroche : I think so. And you know, it’s amazing for me because I was shy and sick every week, and my mother helped me a lot in this kind of power of love, to change, and that’s why I do conference, to help people to believe in themselves.
Dr John Demartini : You know, I believe that there’s a magnificence in people that people don’t honor. And the number one reason I’ve found is that, because everybody lives by a set of priorities, a set of values, things that are most important or least important in their life, when they live congruently in alignment with their highest value they awaken up their genius, they waken up their great potential. But when they subordinate to outer influences, and minimize themselves to others, and compare themselves to others, and think that others have something they don’t, and they’re too humble to admit within themselves that they have what they see around themselves, they subordinate to other people. They eject their values and they try to be somebody they’re not. And the magnificence of who they are is far greater than any fantasy that they have, that they’re supposed to live by. If people give themselves permission to live authentically, according to what their real values, highest values are, extraordinary things come out of them. So I believe that we do all have a genius inside. We all have vast power, vast wealth, vast influence sitting in there, waiting to surface. That’s why, when I ask people by the millions, “How many feel that you want to make a difference in the world?” everybody has their hand up, because it’s the truth inside. They’re here to contribute vastly to the world. So it’s our nature to be fantastically great, but we shroud ourselves, and cloud ourselves and shrink ourselves because of subordination.
David Laroche : Wow. I have another question for you. I would love to know your vision about love and the power of love.
Dr John Demartini : Well, I think that the… I define love as the synthesis and synchronicity of all complementary opposites in the universe. And I believe that there’s nothing but love, all else is illusion. And when we evaluate something with our mental limitations and judge something in the terrestrial sphere, as you will, you miss out, or we miss out on the magnificence of the ever-presence of love that’s there. So I believe that love is the essence of our being. It is the highest priority of all human experience and it is not the romantic, animal, passionate, infatuation love I’m talking about. It’s the profound realization that there’s a divine order, a divine magnificence, a divine beauty, a divine love that’s ever-present, that’s inwardly, intuitively and inspirationally guiding us at all times. And I think the second we ask the right questions, it’s revealed to us and we’re brought to tears of grace for the opportunity to be participating in it. So, I believe that it’s ever-present. I believe that every experience that we don’t see as love, it’s our illusion. We have to look again and we have to ask a new question to see it. In the Breakthrough Experience program that I do around the world, I’ve taught literally tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands of people that there is nothing but love. And I show them not just hypothetically, not just esoterically, not metaphysically but actually, proactively how to experience that. Because if you ask the right questions it’s revealed, so I believe that there’s a synthesis and synchronicity of opposites. Whenever somebody’s challenging you, there’s a supporter. Whenever somebody’s rejecting you, there’s an accepter. There’s always a pair of opposites, and if you can see them both simultaneously, you’re liberated from the illusion of the emotion of one-sidedness. And I think of life as a magnet, and if you embrace both sides of the magnet you have magnetism. But if you’re striving for a one-sided magnet, trying to get rid of the other half of the magnet, you’ll be futility. The desire for that which is unavailable and the desire to avoid that which is unavoidable is the source of human suffering, according to Buddha, and I think that we’re here to embrace both sides of life, see both sides synchronously, and see the synthesis and synchronicity of all opposites and feel the grace of love. That’s why I think that gratitude’s so important, because it’s the key that opens the heart to that.
David Laroche : Wow.it’s amazing how you structure your ideas, I love that. Thank you very much for these great keys. Thank you. You are talking about the Breakthrough Experience. How the people who follow us now can make a breakthrough alone or themselves?
Dr John Demartini : Well, the Breakthrough Experience has many facets to it. I mean, it’s 24 hours with me so it’s not easy to put that whole thing in less than an hour, but all I can say is that if you go on my website, drdemartini.com, you’ll see on the menu on the left side a thing called “value determination.” And it’s a…if they put their email in there, they can simply get a free little booklet on how to determine your values. I think that’s the starting place. The reason I have it on there is because I believe that if everybody goes and takes the time to really, truly define what their real values are…because if you ask somebody what their values are, 99% of the people don’t know. What they do is they tell you social idealisms, they inject the values of other authorities in their life and they recite what they think it should be, and they live with imperatives instead of indicatives. But this process that I developed is a method on how to determine what really is your life demonstrating as valuable to you. So, it looks at how you fill your space, how you spend your time, how you spend your energy, what energizes you, where you spend your money, where you’re organized, where you’re disciplined, what you think about, what you visualize, what you affirm. And if you look very carefully, it narrows down and really tightens up what really is valuable to you, not what you think it should be, but what your life is demonstrating. I think that’s the starting point. Once we know that, we can then prioritize our life because people who never prioritize their life are going to end up devaluing themselves. Parkinson’s law states that if you don’t fill your day with high priorities, things that inspire you, it’s going fill up with low priority distractions that despire you. So first, you need to know what your priorities are, what really is meaningful to you, what is really viable to you, and then structure your daily life according to those priorities so you can do the ABCs, which grow your self worth, instead of the XYZs that lower it. Then you want to learn the art of delegating and giving other people the opportunity to their speciality, as you liberate yourself to do your speciality. When you do and you value yourself by doing it, you’ll pay yourself first, which will attract opportunities, because once you value you and you pay yourself first, you start becoming a seed magnet to more money. And, with that, comes opportunities to create your life as you want it. Then you want to make sure that you’re doing what it is that inspires you and your service in life. Because if you help other people get what they want by doing what inspires you, they’re going to help you get what you want in life. But if you’re not getting up in the morning inspired about what you’re doing, you’re missing out on the magnificence of your life. So prioritizing is the key. Then you want to be able to take, no matter what happens in your life, how is it helping you fulfill your highest value? So if somebody challenges you, you ask, “How, specifically, is whatever’s happening to me right now, how’s it on the way not in the way? How’s it helping me?” If you ask that question, nothing can ever interfere with your dream because it’s all about your perception of what’s going on. The gentleman who was sitting here, who was all bitter and angry over the $750 million loss, 48 minutes later was grateful because he asked a new question. So I would say that if you asked the question, “How’s things on the way? How’s it helping you get where you want in life?” what’s in the way? There’s nothing. So, that’s an important distinction to make. And then you also realize that whatever anybody does to you, you’re never a victim of your history you’re here to be a master of your destiny. So everything that’s happening to you is drawn into your life to help you. So if you sit there and go, you know, “Why is this happening? This person’s criticized me,” I’d say, look for where somebody is praising you, balance it out, find out how it serves you that they’re critiquing you. Maybe it’s helping you become humble and more authentic, maybe it’s giving you more refinement or drive, but find out how it serves you and use it to your advantage. And then go and find out if they hadn’t have done that, what would have been the drawback? Because sometimes you hold onto a fantasy, everybody’s supposed to support you all the time, which is delusional. And then find out who is doing the opposite at that moment. When you do, all of sudden you dissolve this thing that’s in the way and you find out it was on the way, and you’re free. So there’s a lot of simple questions to ask yourself that liberate you from a lot of emotional baggage that most people accumulate.
David Laroche : Wow. Big process. Just for the listeners, how do you define value?
Dr John Demartini : Well, a value, going back even to the earliest writings of the Greeks, were things that you felt were missing in your life or a void that you want to fill. So if you perceive yourself not any money, then money becomes valuable to you because you want to fill it. If you don’t have a relationship, a relationship becomes valuable. If you don’t have friends, then they become valuable. Whatever you perceive as most missing becomes most valuable. That’s why the term fulfillment means filling full the mind of what is perceived as empty. That’s why the ancients called it the pleroma, the fulfillment of existence. So I think that what we’ve got to look at is what our voids are and what our values are. I was told I would never read, write or communicate, never amount to anything, never go very far in life. That was a void, so I ended up reading vastly, nearly 30,000 books, writing over 250 books, traveling 16 million miles, making a difference. Well, I’ve reached billions of people. The idea that I’d never communicate…well, frick, I’m constantly talking and communicating, so that void become a value in my life. And my void for my constriction and wearing braces as a child made me be free. I live, today, around the world. I constantly travel. I live on a ship called, “The World,” that travels the world and then I’m also, city-to-city, speaking every day. So I love being free. I always say, “The universe is my playground. The world is my home. Every country is a room in the house. Every city’s another platform to share my heart and soul.” So those voids became values in my life. And you’ll see this in almost any person that does amazing things. You’ll see these voids driving these values. Sports people having childhood limitations, or politicians being told they’d never do something or actors being short because they want to be big. I mean, there’s always some void driving value in people.
David Laroche : One of my goal is to build a one-year school for youths, for 18 years schools, and let’s consider that we build the program together. According to you, what I have to include in the one-year program to help youths to have the foundations of their success, happiness and gratitude in their life?
Dr John Demartini : Well, I believe that out of the 287 different disciplines that I’ve studied and written about, the number one that I believe needs to be in the curriculum is axiology. Axiology is the study of human values and worth, and I believe that that’s the cornerstone behind all perceptions, decisions and actions in life. And that is a science that has been overlooked and is not included in most curriculums around the world. I believe that needs to be in there because I believe that, in order to know yourself, you need to know what really is valuable to you, and you need to know how to be able to help other people fulfill their values. So that would be the first cornerstone I would introduce. I’m already doing that now with youth in high schools and even in elementary schools. We’re doing it now, and it’s working and it’s doing amazing and I’m getting more and more schools across the world engaged in this. And so, I think that’s the cornerstone. That needs to be there first because a child needs to be respected and honored for their individual value system instead of being imposed and trying to be molded into something that somebody who’s wounded tries to make them. I think it’s wise to… I always say, I learned from Albert Einstein when I was 18 years old, when I was reading some of his text. He said the greatest teacher is exemplification. If we, as adults, will go out and do something amazing and inspiring and extraordinary with our own lives, the children with their mirror neurons will see that and act accordingly. But if we are wounded, are victims of our history and we’re not appreciating and loving ourselves, we will impose all of our constraints onto our children and try to get them not to do what we’ve been wounded by in our own life. And we think we’re helping them, but we’re actually proposing their limitations. So I’m a firm believer in, instead of plucking the moon out of anybody else’s eyes, pluck it out of your own and get on with doing something amazing with your own life, and then inspiring them by your exemplified life. The children will take an inspiring person and they will learn from them.
David Laroche : Thank you very much. I am so glad to be able to provide these videos, because in each of my speech… I am not a parent but I’m a child and in each of my speeches and conferences I have adults, maybe 40 or 50 years old, and I say them, “According to you, what is important as a parent?” And every time I heard education and the fact that you say, “Oh, it’s good,” to your children, and I think it is a lack of inspirations. So if you don’t walk the talk, it will not work.
Dr John Demartini : Well, what I see is I see parents who’ve had events in their life that they feel is a wound, that they have seen drawbacks without benefits on. And then what they do is they try to project that fear onto their kids and try to prevent them from having their wounds, instead of clearing their own wounds, being grateful and showing their children how to take whatever happens and turn it into opportunity. And what they’re doing is, they’re basically creating mediocrity instead of how to turn things into opportunity for their children. So the greatest thing is to exemplify transformation and see how their own lives have been blessed. When they do, their children see that and they learn how to take everything that happens to them and be resilient and adaptable to a changing environment. Stress is the inability to adapt, and the second we impose fears onto the system, we’re not going to adapt. And my parents dropped me off on the freeway when I was 14 years old and said, “Go. Go take on the world,” with a notarized piece of paper saying, you know, “My son’s not a runaway, he’s a boy on a mission.” Fourteen years old they gave me. When I was nine, my dad made me pay for rent and clothing and food, and made me accountable. He was preparing me for real life. I’m very grateful for that. And I think that there’s tremendous value in…help people realize what the truth about life is and how life really functions. And be grateful for it. We live in a magnificent world. I’m not a believer that the world’s screwed up, I don’t buy that at all. I think that that’s a sign of ignorance. I think we live in a magnificent world. I see that all the challenges we face are opportunities for people to have new ways of being creative. We’ll solve the problems, we’ll birth new problems, we’ll solve those and we’ll keep growing. Human beings have been solving problems through history and will continue to solve problems, and solutions will come and life goes on. I always say, “Pollution is future solution.”
David Laroche : Wow, it’s amazing. And, you know, I’m not a parent, I don’t have any children but I use my children to stay improving myself. I don’t know if you understand what I would like to say. I just imagine my children and wonder myself which parent I would like to become, and it’s inspiring for me. And I would love to have more time with you to focus on education to inspire parents. It’s very important for me and you gave me great answers. Thank you.
Dr John Demartini : Well, thank you. You know, I’m not a believer in improvement. I don’t use that word because that implies that you’re not magnificent already. And I would say that you already are magnificent. You may not have recognized it. Not you particularly, but people. You’re already magnificent. See, anytime we’re not recognizing our magnificence it’s because we’ve injected the values of authorities into our life, and we’ve compared our actions to other people’s actions, instead of comparing our actions to our own dreams. Once we compare our actions to our own dreams, we realize how magnificent we are. Our decisions are always based on our own values, what we believe will give the greatest advantage over disadvantage is the greatest reward over risk. Once we realize that we’re making decisions based on what’s true to us and quit comparing ourselves to other people, we appreciate ourselves, and we realize our magnificence and we give ourself permission to shine, not shrink. So I don’t like to use the word improvement because that’s assuming that there’s a mistake in somebody. I really believe there’s a genius in somebody and they just haven’t seen it, and if I can help them see it they get to shine.
David Laroche : Yeah, I think so. I will not use improvement. I would love to know how can I, and how we can, help you in any way?
Dr John Demartini : Well, you’re doing it. I mean, you’re giving me an opportunity to share with people I probably would never get to share with, so thank you. That’s how you’re helping me. If I’ve touched anybody on this video that might be helpful to them, that’s my mission. So you’ve done that by giving me this opportunity, so I thank you for that. All I have to say is that if people would like to come to the website that I have, on the website I have radio shows, TV shows, newspapers, magazines, inspired writings, products, services, YouTubes. I mean, everything that could be of value to educate people, I’m out there with it.
David Laroche : Thank you very much for everything. Last thing, I would love to have a testimonial from you. Do you prefer I ask you something or I can let you speak about me? I’m David Laroche. Yeah, what do you prefer?
Dr John Demartini : I could say for anybody who happens to be listening, David is dedicated to inspiring particularly, youth, but really we all have a youth inside us. He’s dedicated to bringing a messages of inspiration, and productivity and possibility to human beings in the world. And now, with his viral message and his Internet and his Skype programs, he’s touching lives. And so I was blessed to be able to be on his show and to share my heart with people. So I thank you, David, for giving me the opportunity to make it possible, for making a difference. And thank you for making a difference, and touching many people’s lives around the world and helping network a group of people dedicated to humanity. So, thank you for your contribution, thank you for your show and your interviews, and thank you for the opportunity of having me on the show.
David Laroche : Thank you very much.
Dr John Demartini : Thank you. Appreciate it.